Yesterday, I posted my weekly words of wisdom on my Chaos Control Facebook page.
Drop out of one committee or evening meeting and dedicate that time to family activities.
Sounds easy doesn’t it? Not if you are doing committees for multiple children, church and other organizations you are involved with. I must admit over the years, I have learn how to say NO and not feel guilty about it. It did take time and wasn’t easy. If you find yourself in the “Always say YES” boat, be patient there is hope and a solution.
Introducing a 5 step program for overextended, exhausted moms (dads too) who are trying to be an awesome parent.
Step 1: Write down all your commitments and frequency of each commitment. That is every meeting, coffee with girls, work, children’s school activities, church, sports, etc…
Step 2: Either alone or with your spouse, or even better yet, your entire family, sit down to dinner and discuss your commitment list. On a side note, this happened to me about 5 years ago when I was super busy with another business I was running. It was encouraging to hear what my kids wanted versus what I thought we needed. That was the start of my being able to say NO without guilty.
- If you aren’t passionate…drop it! If you dread attending the meeting then it isn’t for you anymore.
- Can you delegate meeting to someone else in your family? I am passionate about the Boy Scouts, but that is a meeting my husband takes care of. I will show up to events for Boy Scouts if they fit into my schedule.
- Do it as a family. Many church activities or sporting activities, the entire family can get involved. And who wouldn’t want more volunteers?
- Can you help without attending a meeting? Bake sales, charity yard sales, and other charity events are excellent example on how you can contribute without taking precious time away from family. Volunteer to send cookies, donate items to a yard sale, or correspond by email.
- In regards to school activities, pick the few activities you really enjoy and volunteer for that. I am not a fan of helping in the classroom but I am the first one with my hand up for a bake sale or sending a meal for teachers during conferences. Again, something I can do to contribute but not take me away from home. This counts for attending the never-ending list of school activities as well.
Step 3: Make a plan to scale back. I am not stating you cut all meetings. Just see what you feel comfortable dropping. Maybe you can’t quit immediately but you will have a plan for next week, next month, or next year.
Step 4: Take action! Make a decision and stick with it. Do NOT let guilt and self-talk make you think otherwise. Our kids will thank you as well. Okay maybe not in the actual form of a THANK YOU, but you will notice it in the overall feel of your home.
Step 5: Start enjoying family activities. Nothing grand just the family together laughing and sharing their days. You can always declare one night of the week as family night. No outside plans EVER. Growing up, my friend could never do anything on Thursday nights. It was family night. At the time I thought that was weird but now that I am a mom, I totally get it. It could be pizza/movie night, game night or just a night where everyone is at the same address!
Kids spell love T-I-M-E. ~John Crudele
If you need one-on-one counseling for the 5 step Chaos Control program, give me a call and we can meet. (or email and text) to help you see which commitments you can change your role in.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms. My wish is a relaxing stress free day. If that isn’t possible, hopefully you will get some flowers and chocolate!